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Ten Sexiest Ladies of the Law

There’s just something so cool about a woman saving the day, catching the bad guys, protecting the innocent - and doing it all without messing up her hair. Our Top Ten Sexiest Ladies of the Law make us want to start committing some crimes.

10.    Ellen Barkin, Mercy, as “Detective Catherine Palmer.”
It definitely isn’t one of her most well known films but in Mercy Ellen Barkin played a detective on the case of a series of sexually gruesome serial murders and became embroiled in a world of lesbianism and bondage – so it was definitely one of her weirdest. She wasn’t a perfect cop, she totally made out with one of her suspects, but it was Peta Wilson (”La Femme Nikita” anyone?) so we don’t hold it against her. Our favorite part was that hot scene up against the counter in the kitchen - who would have guessed her body would still look so good at 46 years old? Damn.

9.    Laurie Metcalf, Roseanne, as “Officer Jackie Harris.”
Surprised to see her here? Think about it… she had two major things going for her: she was absolutely hysterical, and she was a cop. Both are pretty sexy. And really, after nine seasons of sharing scenes with John Goodman and Roseanne, she started looking pretty damn hot.

8.    Sarah Shahi, Life, as “Dani Reese.”
Oh Carmen de la Pica Morales… we have no idea why you left The L Word for some boring NBC comedy about teachers only to ride that show for all six of it’s episodes and then the following year join an even more boring NBC drama where you played opposite some random nobody lead actor for a whopping 13 episodes. But we do thank you for the hot lady cop pantsuit and aviator shades. Can’t Carmen come back for the final season having had a major career change? We doubt Shane would be so quick to toss her aside once she saw her as Detective Dani Reese.

7.    Sonja Sohn, The Wire, as “Detective Shakima ‘Kima’ Greggs”
Detective Greggs, the first character on our list who is an out lesbian, makes a very confusing and dark drama about the Baltimore crime scene worth watching. When she was shot and seriously wounded in an undercover operation we were even shown the effect that it had on her girlfriend Cheryl. Greggs recovered from her injuries and at the request of Cheryl put her pride aside and took a desk job where she could remain out of harms way and begin to build a family. Romantic as that was, we’re glad the tough cop decided to go back on her word, return to her unit, cheat on her girlfriend, and ruin the relationship because had she not been such an ass we would have one less lesbian character on TV.

6.    Angelina Jolie, Taking Lives, as “Illeana.”
We know, we know. Can’t there be a single list about anything sexy without including Angelina Jolie? Sorry, no.

5.    Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer, as “Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson.”
If we committed some horrible crime that we were trying to get away with Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson would probably be the last person we wanted to sit in an interrogation room with. Sedgwick’s character is a top-notch investigator and a very much-appreciated strong female lead on television right now.  Under any other circumstances though and we would LOVE the alone time.

4.    Jennifer Lopez, Angel Eyes, as “Officer Sharon Pogue.”
She’s played an international music star (in real life and in film), a sexy wedding planner, and a version of Cinderella in Maid in Manhattan, but J-Lo never looked so good as when she stripped off the makeup, tied back the hair, strapped on the gun, and portrayed a moody and lonely Chicago police officer.

3.    Sandra Bullock, Miss Congeniality, as “FBI Agent Gracie Hart.”
The plot is ridiculous but if you can get past the fact that sending an undercover FBI agent into a beauty pageant seems like the best way to prevent a bombing you can see how romantic the story really is. One woman risks everything to protect dozens of helpless beauties… That works for us.

2.    Kristy McNichol, Empty Nest, as “Officer Barbara Weston.”
It’s not that the day-to-day misadventures of a widowed pediatrician who lived next to the Golden Girls wasn’t thrilling in itself, but the real reason so many of us tuned into Empty Nest was definitely his youngest daughter, Barbara. We didn’t get to see her in uniform nearly enough but who could forget the episode when she got shot? We just wanted to nurse her back to health and protect her forever.

1.    Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order Special Victims Unit, as “Detective Olivia Benson.”
It’s an obvious choice, but for almost 10 years Mariska has amazed viewers with both her flawless beauty and award-winning acting skills as the incredibly passionate, tough, and intelligent Detective Olivia Benson – and we had to give her credit for it. Although the sexual tension between Benson and male partner, Stabler, is one of the most powerful aspects of the show, many lesbian viewers still have hope that Olivia’s tendency for privacy about her personal life has a lot to do with her homosexual lifestyle. Last season even teased us with an episode that would “reveal Benson’s secret,” but after an hour of watching her grow closer to and flirt with an attractive female victim we learned the only bond they shared was their inability to have children. However, shortly after that we learned that she was dating Bill Pullman, whom she then dumped for no apparent reason… other than that he’s a man? We still have hope.

Another Jen coming between Angie and Brad?

Rumors are flying that Angelina Jolie has made her choice for the godmother of her newborn twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline.  And her choice is less than OK with Brad.  According to Entertainmentwise.com, Angelina wants former lover Jenny Shimizu to take on the role, but Brad has not given his blessing.  One thing the couple can agree on is the godfather - Bono, rock legend and frontman for the band U2.

Saved By The L

A.C. Slater’s wildest fantasy will finally come true in the next and final season of Showtime’s The L Word.  Elizabeth Berkley, who played Jessie Spano on Saved By the Bell, is joining the cast to play a former love interest of Bette Porter (Jennifer Beals).  According to Entertainment Weekly, the multiple episode arrangement casts her as “the straight girl who got away.”   We all have one of those, don’t we?