Editorial: A Dissertation on the Word “GAY”

BY SHONDA CAMPBELL

I hear it all the time: “Oh that is so gay!” I cringe and usually shoot a mean eye in the offender’s direction because I wonder if people actually think about that word, and what it means. Gay is described as meaning “full of or showing high-spirited merriment, bright, jovial, colorful.” It should not, however, have the disparaging connotation people put on it when using the phrase, “That is so gay.” That sentence is poking fun at an individual’s lifestyle. Some people would say, “Oh, lighten up. It’s just a word.” To them I say, “No, it’s not.”

A lesson in history should teach us how hurtful and powerful words are. Take the infamous “N” word, the slurs on our nationalities and ethnicities, for example. These words hurt people, cause feelings of abnormality, inadequacy, and shame. A homosexual walking past someone who thoughtlessly said, “Oh that is so gay!” might hunker down into themselves and wonder why it is so easy for people to be bullies, to hurt, to carelessly cause pain to another human being.

I have heard kindergartners say this word and when asked, they say, “I don’t know what it means. I heard my sister/brother saying it.” What kind of lesson are we teaching our younger generations? Are we teaching them tolerance or respect? Or are we teaching them to keep perpetrating a sentiment of ignorance and narrow mindedness?

As an African American woman, I have been fortunate enough to enjoy freedom from racist remarks directed at the color of my skin. But my ancestors were not. And so many other nationalities have suffered because of thoughtlessly uttered words or phrases.

But, on the flip side, as an African American gay woman, I have been subjected to discrimination, thoughtless remarks, and a court system that sought to snatch my child right out of my arms. I have suffered more as a gay woman than as an African American.

There has been change, yes, but miniscule in the larger scheme of things.

When I hear, “Oh that is so gay!” I want to walk up to the person who said it and ask, “How would you feel if I said to you, ‘Oh that is so white!’ or ‘Oh that is so negro-ish!’ or ‘Oh, that is so like a female!’ or, ‘You’re not going to try and Jew me down on that price are you?’” The latter, believe it or not, has been said to me and my former landlord got quite the dressing down for that ignorant anti-Semitic statement!

It is offensive, even more so, when I hear other gay people use the word “gay” as an insult. It’s like the “N” word – when I hear other African Americans say the word it really makes me sad because that word was born out of something ugly and degrading. It was a word used to keep a race of people oppressed and should not be given the power to live on. It should be put in the annals of history where it belongs. It will never be erased, but it doesn’t have to be kept alive.

When the word “gay” is used by people who have a disdain for the LGBT community, in an attempt to hurt us, that behavior should also not be taken lightly. Even if used in innocent ignorance. We are a group of people who are fighting tooth and nail, scratching and clawing, crying and dying, to have the same rights bestowed on so many other “minority” groups before us.

Be careful of what you say, because once it is out there, it can never be taken back. Respecting others as you would want to be respected should be like breathing. Involuntary.

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Shonda C., Contributing Writer. Most days you’ll find Shonda’s nose in a book, or scribbling on any available, and portable, surface as the words come to her. Her passions are
gay/lesbian rights, traveling, writing, music, and raising her son.  Shonda C. is now a regular contributor to Cherrygrrl.com, Examiner.com, and an aspiring novelist. A former insurance agent, Shonda now writes grant proposals for advocacy programs. Shonda can be contacted at redwritergrl@gmail.com.

For more information on the negative use of the word “gay” visit http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com. GLSEN, together with The Ad Council, created the first national multimedia public service advertising (PSA) campaign designed to address the use of anti-LGBT language among teens. The campaign, ThinkB4YouSpeak – which has featured Wanda Sykes and Hillary Duff taking the power of the statement “That’s so gay” away from those who use it – aims to raise awareness among straight teens about the prevalence and consequences of anti-LGBT bias and behavior in America’s schools. Ultimately, the goal is to reduce and prevent the use of homophobic language in an effort to create a more positive environment for LGBT teens. The campaign also aims to reach adults, including school personnel and parents; their support of this message is crucial to the success of efforts to change behavior.